Bad Date Good Date?

Yesssss! I finally have a date. Haha. I knew the picture of my neighbor at the beach would draw some lucky lady to want to meet me. Yea so I'm not the "best looking" guy in the world, but everybody has their issues. For some, it may be a faded tan, or a bad hair day. For me? We who needs all their teeth anyway. I'm so excited, only 12 minutes until I get to meet her.

We are meeting in a centralized location. I chose the Mall of America. She gets the idea that we are going to hit up one of the ritzy restaurants. I'll buy a dinner with all that money I claim I have. But oh no, don't worry. I have a plan. We'll end up in the food court, I'll make her buy her own food and she'll see just how humble I really am. I know a woman can pay for her own food. I know a woman doesn't need an expensive meal or a dressed up guy. I am going to wow her with a food court dinner and my rockin' Star Trek t-shirt. I can not wait!

Standing in the rotunda, waiting to meet her. I remember her picture vividly. I keep looking for her. My heart is fluttering with excitement. I've never really had a date before. What is it like? Do you think I'll get to hold her hand?

There she is! I see her. In the blue scarf like she said she's be wearing. Wow, she's pretty, and really dressed up. Hmmm. Maybe a little too dressed up for the food court. I wonder if I should have prefaced my plan with some instruction? Oh well. McDonald's here we come. I'm waving now, I told her I'd have a yellow rose in my hand. She clearly sees me. I'm waving the rose and delicately yelling her name.

"Ashley! Ashley! Over here!" I yell jumping up and down.

She keeps walking though, faster it appears than she was before she saw me. As I walk towards her, to try and keep up, she ducks into a woman's bathroom. Of course, she is just being polite and using the facilities now, as to not take away time from our date. I politely wait out side, sitting on the bench awaiting her exit from the restroom.

As I wait I picture her reaction when she see what our after dinner activity will be. We will take the lightrail to the downtown area, where I will show humility once again as I pretend to "forget" my wallet as we order our drinks, forcing her to pay. This will surely so her how willing I am to never forget how important of a person she is.

It's been a while, I wonder if she's ok? Maybe it was a bad burrito or something at lunch, but she's been in there for like 20 minutes. Hmmm. Nobody has really come out, I should ask someone for help.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," I say to the classy janitor lady, "My date went in there about 24 minutes ago and has not exited yet."

"I'm sorry sir, but the bathroom is empty," she politely answered as she mopped the floor in front of the Dairy Queen.

"That's impossible," I exclaim determined. "I've been watching the door the entire time."

"Hmmm," the lady sounds as she drains the muck water off her mop, "I don't know how to tell you this but that's the entrance to the bathroom sir. The exit is to the left about 20 feet."

Could it be true? Did she really stand me up? Impossible. I picked the perfect picture, I bought the yellow rose, I wore my best Star Trek T-shirt. Why wouldn't she want to date me? She would. Of course she would. It must have been the bad burrito. She was too embarrassed to see me. Of course that's what it is. I'm going to go home right now and send her a Get Well E-Card so she knows it's ok. What a perfect end to a well, kind of evening.